its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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