dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
