I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
