he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
