i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The power of my boobs compel you
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
