im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
