it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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