I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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