It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
