I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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