Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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