is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
