I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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