You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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