If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize