That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
