She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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