rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you never un-have a 4some
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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