I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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