I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
