don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
