But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and she was petting her beer can
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
