went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
