And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize