so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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