Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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