I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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