Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
wanna go halves on a baby?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
