If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
