her vagine was all disorganized.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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