I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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