just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
