she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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