I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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