Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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