i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize