this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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