Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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