if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
