i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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