you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
