so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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