She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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