I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
