He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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