jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
