New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
