i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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