I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
