our cab driver is having phone sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
