my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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