Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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