he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
