Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
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she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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