I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize