wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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