I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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