the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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