it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
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i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
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Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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