u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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