u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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